My sister noticed that our brother’s fireplace had photos of his housemates but not of him. So she arranged for a photo op and she had some photos made of him for the mantel and of herself with him so she could have a Christmas photo of herself with our brother.
There’s nothing unusual about this scenario other than our brother is severely disabled.
And, my sister is our brother’s guardian. Our brother, like the rest of us, has lost his mother. But, his condition makes him extremely vulnerable and requires that others look after him. Years ago people with our brother’s limited capabilities were institutionalized and forgotten.
There was a feeling that such people were not really human. Their brains were ‘all wrong’ and for the sake of us all they should be placed in a cell until death do us part.
That was until our mother, having given birth to two sons with this problem, saw fit to show the way. She demonstrated that people like our brothers WERE people. That the connect between their person hood and their bodies’ expressive natures as defined by mobility had been somewhat severed. Yet still they lived inside there. Real human beings.
Our mother also demonstrated that the potential of these particular human beings was unknown. And she surprised doctors by teaching our brothers to walk and eat and participate in the world around them.
Institutionalization was stopped. And, as an aging parent, our mother helped developed ‘community living arrangements’ so that our brothers could reside as far as possible within the community. Community living would allow them a normal life and participation in the world and would allow the world to come to know them.
Our brother is very lucky to have a loving sister and family to visit and watch over his needs. But the truth is many severely disabled people have no relatives. They are left alone after their parents die.
Perhaps there’s a ‘CLA’ in your neighborhood? Perhaps you could get to know them? Here’s a holiday hint: you could sing Christmas carols outside their window, arrange for a therapy dog to visit, supply the house with tickets to a garden or a museum so they could have an outing. You could volunteer to help build a garden in their yard. You could also drop off some cd’s or films for their house-bound families to share.
Go ahead. Knock on the door and ask how you can participate in making the residents welcome in the community.
The greatest gift would be to recognize them for who they are and welcome them into your neighborhoods.
Do you know your neighbor?